The superbly satisfying (really!) beauty product cleanoutfeatured
Okay, this makeup and beauty product cleanout can be filed under “Absolutely Not Brain Surgery.”
However, this (quick and simple!) can also be subtitled “Things I Never Get Around To Doing.”
Much like brain surgery, actually.
But it’s necessary, surprisingly easy and- best yet- comes with an immense feeling of satisfaction after a weirdly small output of actual work. Which is, inarguably, the world’s best combo.
The Makeup/Beauty Product Drawer
(or bag, or bin, or mirrored cabinet, or…)
The most important thing with any space that has a constant influx of stuff is that you’ve gotta check in on it constantly. (I know. I know.)
1: Top drawer
I chose these adorable Birchbox boxes (which is fitting, because they were a large part/addiction of the original problem). But see? Even if you have good infrastructure, you can’t keep tossing products at a system and wondering why it doesn’t self-edit. (I was surprised, too.)
There are four reasons why people hold onto beauty products:
1- Guilt. (Makeup is expensive.)
2- A Puritanical efficiency. (What if someone needs it? The winter’s mighty long and Brother John might not have stocked up on enough L’Occitane hand cream. Who cares if it’s not my favorite scent? The baskets need weaving.)
3- Mem’ries. (I looked great in that, once. In 1999. I also looked great with my tiny backpack.)
4- Confusion. (I swear I never bought that.)
2: Bottom drawer- and more questions
Why do I have so many hair products? Has anyone in my day to day life ever even seen my hair remotely “done?” And for someone who never does her nails, I have a positively alarming collection of nail files. What sort of rave would require that much eyeliner? Can you explain the duct tape? Half of those hair containers are empty. The other half are for long, curly hair, and long, flat-ironed hair. (I have neither.) On special occasions, I wear a French perfume containing vanilla incense. Hand to God, none of these sampler vials contain even an iota of vanilla incense. And don’t get me started on those eye shadows.
3: Line ’em up/ Throw ’em out
No, you really have to. That way you can see your predilection towards buying eyeliner pencils for the sole purpose of keeping the other lonely ones company.
It should be fairly obvious which beauty products you a) love, b) use often, and c) are fairly confident in their continuing safety on and near your body. Keep those! (Only those!)
A good bunch of these makeup sticks in my gigantic pile are mostly empty, but I’d been trying to stretch pennies by using Q-tips to get the dregs. Guess what? This ain’t the Oregon Trail. I can walk to Walgreens and buy a five-buck concealer stick (and some OTC meds for that bacterial thing I probably picked up from a used, 5 year-old facial lotion). BE GONE.
Which brings us to…
4: Toss it all (Okay, not really)
You haven’t lived until you’ve thrown away guilt blush.
Same for a pressed powder that, regardless of tan, no tan, costume party, or “season,” has never matched your “skin tone.”
Experts say to toss most products around the 3 month mark- which has always caused me stress because makeup is so expenssssssivvvvvve. Want to know what else is expensive? Eye antibiotics.
Here’s my favorite cheat sheet tip for checking to see if makeup’s expired: Are you checking to see if your makeup is expired? Yeah, it’s probably expired.
Rinse and recycle what you can, hand off cutie-pie nail polishes to your tween niece, and cheerfully cut your losses to the rest of the pile.
And you can’t tell me that the toss pile doesn’t look extremely satisfying. Because it does. Look at again. Peace out, trappings of a time (and sale) gone by. Don’t you feel lighter? (Hair wax adds half a pound, so you just might.)
5: Top drawer 2.0
No matter what makeup receptacle you chose, I bet the stuff you kept looks pretty great inside of it now. And it might even- I dare say- fits?
Keep the very top, very front open for the things you use each and every day.
Which we know now isn’t glitter shadow.
Just…stop. It isn’t.
6: Bottom drawer (better/faster/stronger)
Where’s the duct tape? Put it out of your mind, okay?
I’ve delegated this drawer to be the one for travel/sample sizes and the full-on hair styling experience (which, sadly, is not an every day event).
Maybe someday soon I’ll downsize even further to a single drawer.
Perhaps a manageable shelf’s worth or twee little makeup bag.
Could be I’d even let my husband have part of bathroom.
(Hahahahahahaha.)
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Ideas? Requests for confidential nail-polish hoarding support?
Comment below!
